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| Photo of Friends in a field |
By Grace Oji
Friendship is always a beautiful thing when it is deep-rooted in honesty and true love. It is like family not related by blood but by choice. Different phases of our lives have brought us into contact with new friends who share several things in common with us like school, the neighborhood where we live and work, a place of worship, and even a marketplace where we buy our favourite products.
Meeting a new friend has always been like touring an unfamiliar city because we get to know more about their lives and understand who they are. Beyond this, we either learn to handle them or simply walk away from keeping close ties with them. This happens to be one of the reasons why a relationship may change with time.
As adults sometimes we look back on our childhood days, recalling moments we shared with other children our age, and when we compare the past with the present time many questions arise in our minds as we find that a good number of old relationships have become mere shadows, lacking quality depth; and people we once knew have become a different version of themselves due to growth and maturity, or more exposure to the world and life's realities.
How Friendships Change In Location:
I bet many people have little or no contact with some of the friends they made in their primary school days. At that time meeting up was always in school except if they were your neighbours or church members. There were mostly no available cell phones, neither did we always keep each other's home address and even if we did, they were likely to move out, as that is a constant feature in our human way of life, people tend to change location over time.
The things that once brought us together become buried in the past and the time we are unable to make contact gradually draws our minds away from each other. If children's games, cartoons, or fairy-tale storybooks were our points of interest, a change in a location like a school also meant a change in whom we played with. During the time we spend apart we tend to forget those friends as we have new people to fill our time.
New Beliefs, Interests, Values:
They say children are like a clean slate, they are innocent and naive with not so much understanding of the world around them. A growing child adapts to the nature of his surroundings and based on them develops his values and beliefs whether good or bad. They mature with specific views about themselves and others, their purpose on earth, and how the world works. Since people of like minds are drawn to each other these factors affect his choice of friends and those he is likely to keep at arm's length or cut off altogether.
New Type Of Friends And Environment:
New friends from new places can affect or change the way people relate to their old friends.
It's likely to be so when someone builds a fresh tie with others from wealthier backgrounds, they sometimes tilt towards condescending attitudes with old companions who are of a lower financial status or keep from associating with them. Other times it's due to friends related to career, business, sports, or fashion and way of life; and there becomes a shift in closeness with old friends because of differences in core interests. In a lot of cases, people withdraw from old friends because of the embarrassment they seem to feel when seen with them because they believe they don't fit into their way of life.
Good Friendships
Yet some relationships grow stronger, people often speak of friends they made when they were very little or growing teens. Some people reconnect after many years and rebuild their friendship from where they left off.
Friendship whether altered or cut off causes some level of hurting within, especially with the knowledge that everybody is free to make choices. It's best to build with people who are worthy and open to you and learn to let go of others instead of forcing a bond, without grudges or ill feelings.
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